


Gallery Gods

by carolinecrane



Series: traveling shoes [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-09
Updated: 2010-11-09
Packaged: 2017-10-13 03:39:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mercedes knows what an awesome BFF she is, even if no one else appreciates her.  Follows <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/132219">No End to the Desert</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gallery Gods

**Author's Note:**

> For Jujuberry136, because she asked.

It's common knowledge in the hallowed halls of William McKinley High School that -- one brief period of willful blindness regarding her best friend's overwhelming gay aside -- Mercedes Jones can out-diva just about anyone in the school. She has no qualms about kicking up a fuss when something doesn't sit quite right, and said best friend's love life is no exception.

This thing with Puck...well, at first she assumed it was a joke, some terrible prank Puck was pulling because he was bored or trying to get back in touch with his inner bully or whatever. She even tried to warn Kurt about it, which resulted in one of the worst fights they've ever had. He's still not speaking to her much, but she's not sure if that's because he's still mad or if it's because whenever they're not in class, Puck's got his tongue in Kurt's mouth.

So fine, it's not a joke, Puck really has gone over to the gay side, whatever. That doesn't mean she approves or anything, because it's still _Puck_. She tells Kurt that too, and when he accuses her of wanting him to be miserable and alone just because she's not dating anyone, she doesn't punch him in the junk. She considers it for a couple seconds, but if it got back to Coach Sylvester she'd probably be off the Cheerios, and she's not letting Kurt have that too.

Because she's not jealous, okay? She's just...concerned. Kurt's the biggest romantic she's ever met, and there's no way he's not going to get hurt by this. It's _Puck_ , not some nice boy who's going to appreciate Kurt for what's under the attitude and the -- okay, sometimes kind of disturbing -- fashion sense. And even gay Puck is still Puck, which means he's only after one thing, and it's definitely not upping his popularity quotient.

She spends the whole first week of their...whatever biding her time, letting Kurt ignore her because as soon as Puck gets what he's after, he'll get bored, and then Kurt's going to come crawling back to her and tell her how right she was. Mercedes isn't even planning to rub it in. She's going to be a good friend and let him cry on her shoulder, then she's going to put such a hurt on Puck he'll regret ever being _born_ , let alone messing with Kurt Hummel.

She gives it until the weekend, tops. She doesn't even worry when Kurt doesn't answer her texts on Friday, because she knows how his dad is about the whole 'family time' thing, and she knows how worried Kurt's been since his heart attack. So she lets it go, and she doesn't call him the next morning, because they've got a game that afternoon and she'll just see him there.

Except when Mercedes gets there Kurt's already in his uniform and out on the field. Well, not on the field, exactly. He's under the bleachers, almost completely hidden from view by a gorilla in a football uniform. At first she thinks one of those jerks on the team is harrassing him where none of the coaches can see, and she's about to storm over there and give the jerk a piece of her mind, but then the jerk shifts a little and she spots the mohawk.

So fine, Puck hasn't revealed himself as the opportunist Mercedes knows he is yet, and Kurt's not nursing a broken heart and ready to come crawling back to her. It's only a matter of time, she's positive of it. Despite the way Puck's leaning into Kurt, whispering something in his ear that makes him blush so hard Mercedes can see it halfway across the field. Despite the way Kurt's hand curls around the front of Puck's uniform and, like, drags him forward, then kisses him in a way that would definitely get them both sent to the principal's office if Coach Beiste saw.

If Coach _Sylvester_ saw...well. Mercedes could never be _that_ mad at Kurt. She busted his windshield that one time, sure, but she draws the line at ratting him out to Coach.

She leaves them alone, because there's no point trying to talk to Kurt when Puck's still hanging all over him, but she keeps an eye on Puck during the game, on the off chance she can catch him ogling Santana or something. And he's benched because of the whole Juvie thing, so he's got plenty of time to ogle Cheerios. Except she's watching him pretty closely, and she only ever catches him looking at Kurt.

Sometimes he laughs at himself and shakes his head, then stares at his hands for awhile before he goes right back to looking. At one point during halftime one of the male cheerleaders from the opposing team wanders over, and before Mercedes even knows what's happening Puck's causing some kind of scene and it takes Santana and like four of their guys to pull him away. And the whole time Kurt just stands there, looking red-faced and vaguely scandalized and...happy. All starry-eyed and shit, like he used to get when he talked about how _nice_ Finn was.

Which is the thing she really doesn't get, because there's nothing nice about Puck. He's rude and even now that he's not tossing Artie down staircases anymore, he's still kind of a jerk most of the time. But Kurt's still looking at him like he's the latest Dolce and Gabbana outerwear on 75% off, and she's starting to get the feeling that maybe she's fighting a losing battle here.

When Monday rolls around and Puck saunters into school wearing a black leather jacket, looking like some kind of juvenile delinquent -- which, hello, he totally is -- and examines Kurt's tonsils for him up against his locker, Mercedes knows it's time to take action.

"We have to do something about Kurt," she tells Tina as they walk into the choir room for Glee practice, trailed by Mike. Brittany and Santana are already there, sitting in the back row in their Cheerios uniforms, Artie's down front near the drum kit, and Rachel's sitting right up front and center. Mercedes resists the urge to make a crack about her hideous plaid jumper; she has more important battles to fight at the moment.

"What about him?"

Mercedes takes a deep breath and reminds herself, not for the first time, that she can't expect everyone to be as fantastic a BFF as her. "Well, there's the way Puck keeps trying to chew his face off, for starters."

"I think it's sweet," Tina says, but her dreamy smile falters a little when Mercedes fixes her with a Look.

"Sweet? Are you out of your tragically goth mind?"

"I think it's hot."

They all turn to look at Brittany then, because the truth is she could just as easily be talking about the temperature in the room as Kurt and Puck. But she's smiling that creepy smile she gets whenever someone accidentally mentions whatever it is she and Santana do when they're alone, and yeah, she's not talking about the weather.

"You're telling me that none of you thinks it's weird that _Puck_ is suddenly all over my boy like white on rice?" Mercedes asks, scanning the room for some sign of sanity, because she's seriously starting to wonder if maybe she's trapped in one of those movies where there's some kind of toxic hallucinogenic mist that only attacks white people. And people with the last name 'Chang'.

"Clearly Noah's been sublimating his true urges all this time with a mixture of violence, promiscuous behavior, and teen angst. They write whole musicals about this very thing," Rachel pipes up, like she's been giving the situation a lot of thought.

"If you start singing I will cut you, I swear," Mercedes says, but when Rachel flinches it barely even makes her feel better. "How can this be a good thing? It's not like making out with Kurt has made Puck less violent. He's been growling at anyone who's stupid enough to look at him for a week."

"He did try to kill a male cheerleader from the opposing team this weekend just for talking to Kurt. Santana and Brittany had to hold him off until some of the team could intervene," Artie points out, and now Mercedes sort of wants to cry, because she figured if anybody would be on her side, it would be one of Puck's favorite victims.

"Yeah, like Brittany was any help," Santana says, and she looks bored by the subject, but Mercedes spent a little time with her while they were working on their duet, and she's pretty sure Santana's just pouting because she's not the center of attention.

"That was hot too," Brittany says, and seriously, Mercedes doesn't even want to _know_.

"Puck's admittedly stronger than usual violent streak is just a sign of sexual frustration. They're not doing it yet."

"You guys, we're talking about _Puck_ ," Mercedes points out, because hello, but Rachel doesn't even flinch this time.

"Puck and _Kurt_. The rules have changed. Kurt may be virginal, but only by circumstance, not by design. He's the one with all the power in their relationship just by virtue of having accepted his homosexuality years ago. Face it, the self-proclaimed 'sex shark' is currently swimming in uncharted waters."

The level of sense Rachel's making is disturbing on a few levels, and Mercedes is temporarily shocked into silence. She takes comfort in giving herself permission to backhand Rachel the first time she tries to use her gay dads as a measure of her expertise on the subject.

"All I know is I walked in on them in the girls' bathroom yesterday, and they looked pretty happy. Like, Puck was _smiling_. I don't know if I've ever seen him smile before."

"He used to smile at Quinn."

"Yeah, but he was in love with Quinn," Mercedes says, and as soon as she hears the words come out of her mouth her blood runs cold. "Uh-uh. Oh, no, you are not seriously telling me you think he's in love with Kurt."

"Why not? Puck loves attention, and Kurt gives him plenty of it. Plus, there's the sex."

"You just said they're not even having sex."

"Not yet. I'm not sure why," Rachel says, frowning thoughtfully for a second, and Mercedes is pretty sure at this point that she _has_ been thinking about it. She probably even ran it by her dads, and Mercedes _really_ hopes she mentions them sometime soon. "But once they do...well, we'll probably see even less of them than we do now."

The door opens and everyone goes quiet, but when they look up it's just Quinn and Sam walking in, followed by Finn.

"What are you guys talking about?" Finn asks, and Mercedes notices for the first time how tense the room feels.

"Kurt and Puck's epic love story," Santana answers, but even she doesn't manage to infuse the sentence with her usual amount of sarcasm.

"Ew, Kurt and Puck are not in love. I don't know what they are, but it's not...that."

"Boys never understand these things," Rachel says with an affectionate sigh. She stands up and takes Finn's hand, guiding him into the chair next to her and the boy's completely whipped, so nobody's surprised when he doesn't put up a fight.

"You guys, you're talking about _Puck_ ," Finn says, but even he doesn't sound all that sure.

"I don't know, dude. He has seemed different since he hooked up with Kurt."

"Not you too," Finn says, turning a wide-eyed stare on Sam, like maybe he just broke some part of the Bro Code Mercedes doesn't know about.

"How many times do I have to tell you, bro? I don't have a problem with the gays."

"Neither do I. I'm fine with Kurt being gay. Totally fine. But I've known Puck practically my whole life, and Puck is not gay."

"Gay, bi, whatever. As long as everybody's having a good time, right?"

Sam grins and slides into a chair next to Quinn, and Mercedes feels her gag reflex start to kick in. Not that she expected Quinn to keep hanging around with her after she lost the baby weight and the natural order at McKinley was restored or whatever, but the least she could do was get herself a less lame boyfriend.

"You guys, Puck's not bi either. He gave me more shit about being secretly gay for Kurt than anyone."

"Classic overcompensation," Rachel says, patting Finn on the arm in what's probably supposed to be a comforting gesture. "He was deflecting his own confused longings."

"But he never even talked to Kurt until, like, last week. I mean, I knew Puck didn't hate him or anything, but if Kurt didn't hate Puck there's something seriously wrong with him."

"What have I been saying this whole time?" Mercedes says, but nobody even looks at her.

"They talked to each other before last week." Santana's leaning forward, legs crossed and examining her fingernails like they're way more interesting than the conversation, but when she starts talking she looks up to make sure she's got everyone's attention. "They started hanging out right after Puck got back. When he told me he didn't want to hook up anymore he said it was Kurt's idea."

"Puck took relationship advice from Kurt?" Rachel asks, and now even she sounds surprised.

Santana just shrugs and leans back again, crossing her arms over her chest and narrowing her eyes at Rachel. "How many times do I have to tell you that sex isn't a relationship, Man Hands?"

Rachel frowns and tugs her hands up into her sleeves, but even that only makes Mercedes feel slightly less like her whole world's ending. Because if what Santana says is true and Puck voluntarily gave up readily available sex for Kurt... "Oh my God, they are in love."

"It's totally sweet," Tina says, and next to her even Mike lets out a dreamy little sigh. Mercedes, on the other hand, feels the sudden urge to lie down.

The choir room door opens again, and this time Kurt and Puck do walk in. They're completely focused on each other, so it takes them a minute to notice everyone in the room pointedly _not_ looking at them. When they do notice Kurt's eyes narrow, first at the entire room, then at Mercedes specifically. Puck, on the other hand, just slides an arm around Kurt's shoulders, pulling him close and, like, fitting Kurt into his side like that's where he's supposed to be.

Mercedes can't even deny how well they fit together, which is maybe the most disturbing part of all this.

"What's going on here?" Kurt says, and everybody in the room tries to look innocent at exactly the same time, which is the best way to get busted. Not that Kurt can prove anything, but Mercedes knows him better than anyone, so she knows he's not fooled for a second.

"Your little friends are planning a gaytervention," Santana says, and when Mercedes shoots a glare in her direction Santana just smirks at her, which, whatever. It's not like Mercedes misses hanging out with her anyway.

"A what?" Kurt asks, voice going a little higher, but before anybody has a chance to answer the door opens again and Mr. Schue walks in.

"Guys, grab a seat," Schue says, oblivious as usual to the tension in the room. He claps Puck on the shoulder as he walks by, and Puck glances at Mercedes and then steers Kurt to their usual spot in the back row.

Kurt sits down on the edge of his chair, arms crossed over his chest and still glaring at Mercedes, which is totally unfair, because she's just trying to be a good friend here, even though he's been ignoring her for over a week and doesn't even deserve it. Then Puck leans forward and whispers something in Kurt's ear, and it's not like she can hear them, but whatever he says makes Kurt blush and look away from her to smile at Puck, and that's a low blow, making her feel grateful like that.

Mercedes narrows her eyes at Puck and sits down hard in the chair next to Tina just as Mr. Schue starts talking about the week's assignment.

"Exciting news, guys. We've been invited to perform at the winter formal."

"Good luck getting Puck to show up," Santana says, and she's laughing, but it sounds like she's speaking from experience.

"It's cool, Mr. Schue," Puck says when Schue looks at him, and when Mercedes looks back at Puck he's got his arm draped around the back of Kurt's chair. "I figured I'd put in an appearance this year anyway."

"Great," Schue says, but nobody's really listening -- except Rachel -- as he starts running through possible song selections.

The rest of them are staring at Puck, even Santana, and when he finally stops watching Kurt blush long enough to notice, he just shrugs and says, "What?"

Nobody really has an answer to that, so one by one they turn back to the front of the room and try to focus on Schue instead of what's possibly the most unlikely power couple McKinley's ever seen, practically _snuggling_ in the back of the choir room.

Everyone except Brittany, who's leaning around Santana to watch as Puck leans over to whisper to Kurt some more. "Totally hot."

And the worst part is, Mercedes doesn't completely disagree with her.


End file.
